The grand day has arrived! Your Filipina lady has her Australian visa grant! Could be a Partner Visa or a Prospective Marriage Visa, or maybe it’s the first time she’s visited on a Tourist Visa. We’re talking about the moment when your lady from the Philippines first steps across your threshold and enters your home in Australia. That means it will be her home too, either for a first three month visit or for many years ahead. Whichever way it is, something monumental is about to happen and your life will never be quite the same again.
Living together as an Australian Filipina couple
Quite a number of our Australian sponsors haven’t lived with a lady before. Many “never married” chaps out there. And some of you have been divorced and living as bachelors for enough years to forget that life was ever any different. And…..well….life with a Filipina is usually a little different to life with local ladies.
Mainly because Filipinas are a little bit more domesticated and take their wife role a little more seriously than many a modern Aussie woman does. That’s what I think. Not just from the housework perspective, but the whole wife-and-mother role and the set of duties and expectations that go with it. Don’t expect her to arrive and plonk herself on the couch to watch things happen around her. She will have very clear ideas about how things should be, and she will generally get stuck into things once the shyness wears off.
Your Filipina lady and housework
In my experience, we spent two days cleaning our house top to bottom. Had the bonfire going for two days too. Mila arrived and spent a week redoing what we thought was a fantastic job on. Apparently you DO need to clean under beds. Didn’t know that.
Look, if your lady is anything like Mila (and I hope she is, as you will be a lucky many like I am), she will do this and she won’t mind. Be prepared to let her do it. Don’t expect to sit her down and wait on her, or you will embarrass her as much as you would be embarrassed to sit on your bum while she changed the car tyre! Get what I mean? Let her take care of you and your house. Get used to it! Maybe soon you’ll LIKE living in a clean house with healthy and delicious food, and to look less like a stray!
What you need to expect is some re-arranging and some serious “observation” taking place!
Previous Relationships and your Filipina lady
I had some old letters in a drawer, and in a box somewhere. Yes, of course Mila found them. Fortunately they all had dates on them prior to us meeting, so I’m still alive today. Some ladies have been less understanding, and have assumed the letters remained because you were still crazy about this woman and kept the letters on purpose! Photos, even worse!
If you HAVE kept any memorabilia lying around? Get rid of it! If the CSI team from TV couldn’t find it, she will! I remember years ago a silly chap keeping a pair of panties from the ex. She (new wife) found them. The results were very bad. And rightly so! And there’s one more topic which extends from this. Porn!
Filipina attitudes toward pornography and husbands
I touched on this topic in a recent FilipinaWives post on “Mind Reading”, some will remember. I have no personal stories, happy to say. But there’s many a chap out there who’s developed a habit over the years, and some may still have a magazine collection tucked away somewhere. Strongest suggestion? Burn it! Or as I said to one client (much to his amusement), “Sell the porn collection and buy a rice cooker”.
Fact is, the majority of Filipina ladies will be horrified to see their man drooling over other women. It’s insulting, and seen as akin to cheating. It can lead to horrible fights, and in a few times I’ve seen it come close to breaking up. You should be perfectly content with this wonderful lady, otherwise why is she even there in the first place?
Rice and other food for Filipinas
I’ve done a few articles on what I think of the average Filipino diet on www.filipinawives.com.au as many of you know, but right now that’s not the main issue. What IS an issue is you need to consider that she’s just arrived and will need time to adjust, and that change takes time and takes consensus. Right now you should ensure that she’s comfortable, and yes a big part of this is rice!
So make sure you purchase a RICE COOKER if you don’t have one. Any appliance store will sell you one. Get something good quality. And make sure you have things like:
- Fish sauce
- Chicken stock
And of course, a large bag of rice. That means at least 10kg, preferably 20kg! 500 gram bags of rice don’t exist in the Philippines.
Chicken, pork and fish…..a good idea. Don’t expect her to take to lamb too quickly. And a few cans of sardines and (yes, I’m serious) Spam will go down well. Hot dogs too.
Find an Asian store, because she will want to go shopping obviously. If they have a wallis tingting there (“witches” broom), grab it. One or two plastic Tabo (plastic dipper for bum-washing) too.
Next article, I’ll explain a bit about friends and social groups, as well as relating to kids and family. Be sure to show plenty of patience, OK? Mila still talks about the efforts I made all those years ago, so yes it matters.