No, not a Communist Party booklet from Russia in the 1930’s! And not a Grimms Fairy Tale either. Comparing the Filipina princess to the Filipina worker.
We’re talking about your choice of Filipina wife here, and some observations I’ve made over the years about ladies in the Philippines especially those married or engaged to Australian men, and whether they will be a blessing or a curse to you. Just my opinion, though. When it comes to individual cases and clients choices of wives, we at Down Under Visa don’t judge. I made a judgement many years ago and actually told a chap that he was making a big mistake and should move on, and now they have their Australian Partner Visa they are the happiest couple you could ever imagine.
The Philippines is full of extremes. Most things you find are black or white. Very few shades of grey (and definitely not 50!). And that most definitely applies to the ladies that we meet.
The Filipina Princess
We’ll start with the worst first.
The Filipina princess is the Filipina lady who was either:
- Spoiled rotten as a child, or;
- Started being spoiled by you being overindulgent. See the earlier article about precedents HERE
Younger children in families here are often spoilt. Very pretty girls in families can be the same way. My first wife was the family pretty-girl (although nature has caught up, and has been very unkind), and I used to mentally describe our relationship in two ways:
- Me holding the strings of the relationship like a puppet. As long as I pulled the strings, the relationship “danced”, but I knew if I ever dropped the strings that she would never pick them up and take over.
- Me driving the car (which symbolised the relationship), and her as a passenger in the back enjoying the ride.
Does this describe your relationship? Is it one-sided? Do you do more than 50% of the work and effort to make it work? Is she along for the ride, and only there for the good times? Will she stick around if times get tough, or will you be on your own? This may well suit you, but been there and done that. It certainly doesn’t work for me!
The Filipina Worker
Note the “puppet” story above. The worker is the one who will pick up the strings the moment you drop them.
Let me tell you about my GOOD wife, ie. Mila, whom I’m married to now and always will be!
I started writing to her (yes, letters) within days of ending a previous relationship. Always been a believer in getting back on the horse. She responded. I lost my nerve and DIDN’T respond. She kept writing to me. After maybe 2 – 3 responses from her, I suddenly realised that she had picked up the strings I had dropped.
The Filipina worker is generally one who was definitely NOT spoiled as a kid. MY “worker” grew up as a middle-child in a poor family, with a mum who was also (and still is) very much a worker. Apples do rarely fall far from the tree in the Philippines. Never learned to batter the eyelids and look cute in order to get special treatment. And to this day I need to almost force her to rest and to stop doing too much for everybody.
The worker is a strong, capable woman. Doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty. Does her share of everything, including contributing to your relationship. She will take wonderful care of you, and will be a partner for you through thick and thin for the rest of your life. You will love her, but will also admire and respect her. A real blessing!
- The Filipina princess wants to be taken out to dinner all the time. The worker wants to save your money, and would rather cook for you.
- The Filipina princess wants you to get a migration agent who does every tiny little thing for them, and complains all the time. The worker gets everything organised before you do.
- The Filipina princess picks out the largest engagement ring in the store. The worker tries to talk you into going to a pawn shop where it will be cheaper.
- The princess will give large tips to everybody (out of your wallet) because she wants to look like a doña (Google it!). The worker is a cheapskate, especially because it’s “your money”.
- The worker will hand-wash your clothes when you visit. The princess? Good luck!
- And of course the princess will cost you a great deal of money every step of the way.
I’m sure you all get the idea?